I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
