Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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