I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
