I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
