I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
