she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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