Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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