I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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