i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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