Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize