it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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