Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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(317): View more from Indiana

i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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(503): View more from Oregon

what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum

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(917): View more from New York City

im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer

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(337): View more from Louisiana

There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale

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(917): View more from New York City

This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.

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