But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
