My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's like iHOP with fire
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
