he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
