But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
