i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish you could order shots online.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
