When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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