I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
