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porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
