What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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