is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
