Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
did i just pee glitter
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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