Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
