I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
