Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
