first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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