Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
