It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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