Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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