Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
