Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
