my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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