we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
