hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
