i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
