Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
