I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
