Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
