Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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