I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize