dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
