my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize