whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
