Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
