I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
