Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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