even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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