No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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