So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
