I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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