When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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