No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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