She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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