Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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