Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
