The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
