Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
