Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
