We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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