the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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