whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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